nocturnal guilt

Wow did I feel like a bad parent last night. I'm sure there are some parents out there who go through the same thing now and then: after you finally get the last one to sleep, and they are peaceful and you realize how much you love them and how much you depend on them to keep you from losing your squash, you think, wow did I do anything today but yell at them? What an ogre I am.

Maybe it's because Mommy was in bed most of the day. Maybe it's because this weather is just not allowing as much outdoor time. Maybe it's because the screen-time limits have gone out the window since we became 1-1/2 parents. Maybe the relatively late bedtimes are catching up with all of us. Whatever the case, man oh man...

Come to think of it, I haven't given much of an update on how the kids are doing with all this since like last year so maybe it's time.

Sammy is more tantrummy, for sure. There is so much more these days he cannot control, so he practically invents things that are suddenly not going right for him. And he is very inventive. Our favorite tantrum-conjuring story of late is when we were going to a Christmas party he wanted no part of, and when we drove up to the house the I-don't-wanna-I-don't-wanna-I-don't-wanna became WHY IS THERE A NUTCRACKER SOLDIER ON THEIR LAWN?!!!!!? THAT'S NOT EVEN CHRISTMASSY!!!! WAAAA Priceless.

Rachel, who for quite some time before this has been velcroed to Mommy, is a bit of a different story. We have been wary about how she would take this, especially the parts that require a reduction in Mommy-access. But our fears so far have proven unfounded. She has actually relaxed the Mommy requirement in key areas that make logistics much easier for Daddy to handle and she sometimes even does showers and hair-brushing and the like -- on. her. own. Go Rachel!

Jack is much too old to throw tantrums and has never demanded full access to Mommy (although he does still enjoy a bedtime snuggle!). His adjustments are more subtle. The things he needs help with, the problems he wants to solve concerning a computer game or sport equipment now become obsessions. I guess now that I think about it he is doing the same thing Sammy is, just at a more mature level; replace tantrums with constant repetetive questions and replace the made-up problems with real ones he finds in his own sphere.

Anyway, I yelled a lot. Nonetheless, everything was back to normal this morning. Luckily their love is very durable. :-)

Oh and big hugs go out to Allison & Juan & Antonio who treked all the way down from Winchester to super bowl it up with us. The visit provided a great recharge and distraction. Mostly because Al is so frickin pregnant it's not even funny. She looks absolutely fabulous. 3 weeks to go!